Ethiopian Dinner with Jane Kurtz

Selam looking at her Ethiopian photo album book and promoting Ethiopian Reads.

Friends of Ethiopia Reads asked if Selam and I would host a small dinner for Jane Kurtz.  She is a well known author and most of her books are written from her memories of Ethiopia and many are of Ethiopian folktales.  She was in Grand Forks, ND to promote Ethiopian Reads and to meet with school children.

Getting injera ready for the big dinner.  (Yvette and Selam)

Ethiopia Reads works to improve literacy in Ethiopia, in order to bring hope, vision and educational skills to this generation of Ethiopian children. Our mission is to create a reading culture in Ethiopia by connecting children with books. We do this by:
• providing quality reading materials, as far as possible in local languages, in accessible locations
with encouraging and supportive adult supervision;
• publishing attractive books in local languages; and
• promoting literacy and the importance of reading

Some of Jane’s many books about Ethiopia.  More are being translated into Amharic all the time.

Ethiopia Reads believes that education is the key to improving the lives of the next generation of
Ethiopians, a country filled with children, and that books are the key to fostering a genuine love of learning. Through publishing, training and library development, we provide access to materials and environments that bolster reading and heighten educational opportunities to children in Ethiopia, where approximately 50% of the population is estimated to be illiterat

Hope:  The Ethiopian Reads “Donkey Mobile” bringing books to rural children.

We were in Ethiopia for three weeks.  I always buy books from the countries that I visit.  We did not see a single bookstore.  Some street vendors were selling political paper books.  I never saw a single children’s book in Addis Ababa, the capitol city or in Mekelle in the North.   Our 16 year old daughter reads in Amharic and Tigrinyan.  She attended a private school for two years where the students had books.  The public schools generally do not have books available.  At the Addis airport, we finally found about six different children’s books.  One of them was written by Jane Kurtz and the other five were nonfiction with pictures!

Selam is not used to having books in every nook and cranny.  She doesn’t understand the concept of reading to learn or even more importantly, reading for entertainment.  We need to support Ethiopia Reads so another generation of children has an opportunity to expand their imaginations and knowledge through the love of books.

ethiopiareads.org

Selam is Sweet 16 – The Day

Selam age 14

Selam turned 16 on September 19th.  We received her picture and fell in love with her on August 5, 2008.  She was 14 years old at the time.  We knew that she had to be home with us before she turned 16.  There were some unusual delays but we made it.  Grant, her American brother, and I went to Ethiopia on July 8, 2009.  We arrived home in ND on July 29, 2009 with Selam.  She was home 7 1/2 weeks before the adoption deadline of 16!

Selam has never had a birthday party and was very excited.  She asked many times about blowing out candles.  One day she wanted to practice and I said, “Oh, NO!”  She then commented that her cousins practiced 15 years or more already.  Good Point!

We invited all of our friends in the area and anyone who we got to know through support of the adoption process.  Forty people came to the house.  Selam was very gracious and met everyone.  We practiced American greetings often.  Instead of being overwhelmed by the crowd and the gifts, she was ecstatic.

We put trick candles on her cake and she and her nephew got to blow to their hearts’ content.  She finally figured it out and laughed and laughed:  ferenji!  This means anything or anyone foreign to Ethiopian culture.  Believe me, it is a word that she uses on a daily basis but always with a smile and usually a shake of her head. The kids played volleyball and soccer.  It was one of the hottest days of the summer.

In the evening, we let her call her friends and her grandmother via Skype.  Her uncle has a cell phone so he brings it to Grandmother.  Selam is always a bit melancholy after visiting with her.  Apparently, there is food available but neither she nor her blind daughter are able to prepare it.  They are often hungry.  Our goal is to hire one of Selam’s friends to cook for the week and bathe Grandmother once a week.

Selam called her girlfriend and we talked to her and to her mother.  She is 18 years old and works at the orphanage for less than $30 / month.  We gave her mother money for her two daughters to go to school and enough to cover the lost salary plus 200 Birr/month. They asked if they could use any money for food!  Of course!  They bought powdered milk and vitamins for the 2 1/2 year old son and it is the first time that he hasn’t gone to bed hungry.  It takes so little to make such a big difference.  200 Birr is equal to about $20.

Selam also called Fikere, the man who was the director of the orphanage for 10 years while she was there.  She was one of his first kids.  He has a wonderful program for about 75 orphans at this time.  All of his kids are in school and if they don’t pass their 10th grade exams, he makes sure that they get vocational training.  He has oxen and farm land for them.  They grow a large garden.  Some get set up in a small business.  Unemployment in Mekelle where they live is >70% even if educated.

Living with and loving Selam has been an amazing experience.  Pictures are posted on the Post dated September 19th, as I had some difficulties.

Selam is Sweet 16

Dear Friends,
I wrote a long post last night and seem to have lost it.  I am not happy because it was a good diary entry.  I will post Selam’s reaction to her birthday party tomorrow when I am not so tired.

1.  Birthday gown
2.  Mom with Selam trying to blow out trick candles
3.  Selam and Yvette with funny hair after the party.
4.  Coffee ceremony on Sunday
5.  Soccer ball from Michael
6.  Grandma and Michael watching Selam

gullicksinfocus.wordpress.com

- Show quoted text -

P9190354.JPG 1955K   View Download

P9190372.JPG 2026K   View Download

P9190435.JPG 1974K   View Download

P9200008.JPG 2082K   View Download

P9190400.JPG 2023K   View Download

P9190401.JPG 2015K   View Download

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and School Starts

September 5, 2009

Almost everyone is back to school.

What does that mean for our students who love school?

-Excitement to be with their friends again

-Ready to take their advanced placement classes

-Ready to earn college credits

-Can’t wait to start Spanish

-When is the first football game?

-Running for class president

-What musical are we going to do this year?

-Did I make jazz band?

What does back to school mean for our students who have untreated ADHD?

-Stomachaches and headaches for two weeks before classes start

-Hope that there is no recess this year so they don’t get teased

-Picked last to be on the team

-Forgetting the question and answer by the time the teacher calls on them

-Frightened of change

-Wondering if they will have a friend this year

-Hoping the class bully has moved

-Knowing that they know the answers but are too afraid to raise their hands

-The first one out in recess, the last one picked to play

-Tutoring before or after school

-Being called to the office to take their medications

-Forgetting their locker combination

-Forgetting their assignment book and homework

-Zeroes when they forget, 100% when they remember to hand work in

-Very creative in art, music or drama but often not given a chance

-Art, Music and Drama are dropped so they have an extra study hall

-Not being allowed to play football because they are late or grades are low.

What does back to school mean for our students who are well regulated on their medications for ADHD?

-SEE WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR OUR STUDENTS WHO LOVE SCHOOL?

I am back to work after eight weeks off to travel to Ethiopia to get our new daughter.  Phone calls to return and tightly scheduled visits greet me.  My clinic kids are not excited about school, especially if last year was difficult.  Parents are afraid that their children have already been labeled.  Evenings are spent agonizing over homework – one hour to complete one page of math problems and this is still review work!

I get calls from the nurses who covered for me.  The pharmacists say that prescriptions are sitting there not utilized during the summer or last spring.  WHY?  ADHD is highly genetic – do the parents forget or are they not aware of the struggles their children are having?  Children are irritable, anxious, scared and so become withdrawn or very crabby and mean to siblings and parents.  The ones who are loved the most, see the worst behavior.  Mothers get the worst of the worst when the children are upset.  Many children had tough summers – police were called for vandalism or petty theft – someone dared them and to have a friend, they took the dare and ended up in attendant care -

Those children who took their medication went to camp, went swimming on their own, were allowed to ride bikes around town, came home when they were supposed to most of the time, are indistinguishable from the children who don’t have ADHD.   Some children have side effects to medication so careful regulation of doses and meds is crucial.

ADHD IS 24/7 SO WHY DON’T PARENTS FOLLOW MEDICAL ADVICE AND TREAT THEIR CHILDREN?

PARENTS FOLLOW MEDICAL ADVICE WHEN THEIR KIDS ARE PHYSICALLY ILL, HAVE DIABETES, OR ASTHMA?  Why?

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is the most common pediatric condition.  It affects approximately 8-12% of children world wide.  It is developmental so one is born with it and of those with ADHD, approximately 3-5% continue to have difficulties as adults.  It is very genetic so if a child has ADHD the chance of a parent having it is 20 times greater than that of parents who have no children with ADHD.

ADHD is one of the most easily treated conditions.  If stimulant medications are managed properly, the success rate of children and adults soars.  Untreated adults work 22 days less than their co-workers without ADHD or than those with ADHD who are treated.  They can’t stay on task, get distracted, forget deadlines and projects, are late for meetings, don’t have reports filed, forget to send out bills, forget what the boss wanted done today and waste 22 days per year!

Let’s take the best care we can of our children with ADHD so that they can be happy, successful, productive kids and adults.

American Girl Giggles

 

                         

We went to Turtle Lake for a quick overnight on August 3rd.  Saturday was very cool – 58 degreees.  Selam laughed when we started a fire and didn’t cook on it. “Ferenji” is her favorite thing to say some days.  That means foreign or foreigner.  She went outside and came back in:  “Is this cold for snow?”  We got the giggles and said “no, not even close.  It has to be below 0 degrees C.”  “No, Mommy, honey – that is very, very, very cold!”  We will keep her warm all winter but will also play in the snow.  “Do you have snow in the house?  How you keep warm?” When we showed her the furnace, she started giggling, “America, Ferenji!”

Our fun continues with much laughing:  “Selam, can you put the lettuce in the refrigerator downstairs?  She has done this many times.  Tonight, she wanted to make salad and the lettuce was in the freezer!”  She was worried, then laughed when I told her that Grant put the ice cream in the refrigerator and cabbage in the freezer in an absent minded moment.

From nevcr riding a bike to riding all over our area in less than one week. She went to day without her helmet and when told why she had to wear it:  Safety, she doesn’t know rules of the road and she only has one brain;  She said what happens if I don’t wear it?  I told her she wouldn’t get to have her bike until the end of the week.  She wore her helmet.  She laughed and said, “Is this a law or a rule?”

Twin Cousins

Selam and Christine are twin cousins.  In our family, we now have three sets of twin cousins.  Their birthdays are the same year and within nine days to four weeks of each other.  Christine and Selam got the giggles wondering if they could convince anyone that they are identical twin cousins!  What fun for both of them.

Home School Success!

We had great success today thanks to advice from IAG parents who have home schooled their children, including teens and children from Ethiopia.  My primary concern is vocabulary and grammar.  Since our alphabet is totally different from Selam’s, spelling and pronunciation are difficult.  The advice was to start with second grade English and reading because that’s the year that the basics are taught.  We started today and she commented, “This is a very nice book.”  I have labeled furniture and everything else we can think of .  It is now obvious to me that I was pushing her too hard.  Many single syllable words are difficult for her to read and things that we think are simple like plate, toys, broom, etc. are difficult  for her because she doesn’t know the names of objects.

She is doing quite well with Harvey and Algebra!  That is great because she needs some successes in difficult areas.  It is hard to keep her focused for long………she tires easily but will come back for more.  She is motivated because she wants to go to school in January.

Learning in English!

Selam was moved from the orphanage that she grew up in last November, 2008.  That meant she was not only separated from her friends, but also from her schooling.  She was in 8th grade.  She will be 16 in September and we want her to be with her same age peers.  After much research and visiting with English as a second language teachers and professors, we came to the conclusion that homeschooling would best meet her needs.  It is not recommended that students who go home to English speaking parents participate in the ESL classrooms.  Is is also not recommended that children who have grown up in orphanages spend their days in classrooms of children for several months.  I will teach her English, history of USA and North Dakota first, Literature and health and nutrition through the use of a classical curriculum.  Harvey will teach math and begin with physical science.

Selam speaks Amharic, Tigryina and English.  Her English has improved greatly in three weeks.  Reading is difficult because of all the vocabulary words that she isn’t familiar with such as wolves, bear, log cabin and so on.  We are starting with the Laura Ingalls Wilder series and are currently reading Little House in the Big Woods.  She wants to read silently but she misses the  meaning of most sentences.  When I read to her, she hears the proper pronunciation and we write our vocabulary lists from the reading.  She uses her Amharic-English Dictionary when I am stuck as to how to explain a word to her.

Since we live in North Dakota on the prairie, we took a drive to Bismarck, the state capitol to actually see what we are reading about.  We went to the zoo and learned what deer, elk, moose, bear, wolves, owls, ducks and many other animals are in English.  Most, she had no Amharic word for as she is not familiar with animals from other countries.  We toured the capitol and learned first hand about state government and some history.  The Heritage Center has wonderful displays of life in Dakota Territory beginning with dinosaur fossils found in Western ND and ending with modern technology.  Now, when we read, she can understand the new words because she saw Native American teepees, log cabins, wagon trains, prairie animals, one room school houses and more.  When we came to the old methods of farming, I wondered what she would say since Ethiopian farmers use two oxen and a single wooden plow with one steel blade.  No machinery is used at all.  She recognized it all from the travels we took her on in Ethiopia.  The familiarity was comforting to her.

We found out while playing with her brothers and nephew that she is a good soccer player.  She has learned to ride a bike, wants to play anything outside, wants to run and wants to learn how to exercise.  She should be ready for school by Spring and if so, can join the girl’s soccer team.

She is also learning to type and to play the piano, as well as cook with measuring cups.  She had her first baking lesson from Grandma Naismith.  They made fresh peach pie.  She was able to tell me in detail exactly what ingredients they used and how they made the pie.   Her memory is fantastic for anything that she does or hears.

While in Ethiopia, Grant and I were surprised by how limited most of the people were in their knowledge of the world.  For example, she was fearful that there were crocodiles or other big animals in the lake in Minnesota.  She didn’t know the continents, the difference between lakes and oceans, and general world knowledge.  This is a challenge since we want her to love learning and there is so much to learn.  She is a trooper and is willing to talk, study and read with us.

Our daughter is already a very good student and has learned so much.  I had to convince her that she is learning when we are doing things other than workbooks and problems.  I think after our adventures in Bismarck with her older brother and his family, she recognizes how much she learned.

Stay tuned for more progress reports.  I will take any advice you can offer on homeschooling a high school student whose third language is English.

American Girl

Learning to Bike Ride

Selam is very active and wants to do everything.  She learned to ride a bike the first week and even rode over to the University of North Dakota.  Unfortunately, she left her cell phone at home but didn’t get rattled when she was lost.  She just thought about it and knew that she could ask for help!  As a girl in Ethiopia, she had to be street smart and assertive to be safe.   She knows how to take care of herself.  Yet, at the same time, she is very much a little girl.  She calls me often throughout the day, “Mommy?”  I answer, “I’m here!”  She says, “OK”

Cell Phone

Teens everywhere must be hardwired for technology.  In only one lesson, she learned to fully operated her cell phone.  She can run the DVD better than her parents.  Grant taught her how to use her ipod in Ethiopia in 10 minutes or less.  She became a pro with her camera in no time.

“Mommy, American Girl, look at me!”  The joy of eating American food after only three weeks home.  She is so proud that she can eat a hamburger and likes it.  Like most American kids, she loves french fries but worries about getting fat.  I am frantically looking for a way to explain calories.

Fortunately for us, our American Girl loves to cook Ethiopian food.  She makes it very, very spicy with fresh jalapenos or habeneros, lots of garlic, red onion and tomatoes.  She adds hot sauce, tabasco, berbere or anything else spicy to every meal, including breakfast.  When she makes and eats Ethiopia food she says, “I am no American Girl today Mommy, ok!”

We took Grandma to a friend’s wedding on a lake in Minnesota.  Selam tried on long dresses and looked gorgeous in all of them.  She chose this one because, “I am American Girl with arms showing.”  She is beautiful and is enjoying the freedom to wear clothes of her choice.  Many Ethiopian women wear Western style clothing, but Selam only had the clothes that I had sent her and one traditional dress.   In the Washington, D.C. airport, she commented:  “Many, many, too many, American girls wear too short clothes!”  She hasn’t gone that route which is good beccause we wouldn’t allow it anyway.

Selam and Grandma at Koch wedding

Home from Ethiopia-Insight for New Parents

July 29, 2009
Jean Gullicks wrote:

Dear everyone,  We are home.  We left Addis at 12n for the airport and left about 8pm our time.  We arrived in Minneapolis at 4:00pm the 29th, had supper and got to Grand Forks about 12m.

Surprisingly, I’m not exhausted yet!  I didn’t sleep well but Selam did.  She is the most courageous child I have ever met.  She knows exactly what she is up against.  She cried when the plane took off from Addis.  She was smiley and excited most of the trip.  She was teary when we landed in D.C.  While, there, she said with a tremor, America is too big.  I reminded her that this is an airport, not home.  We talked about living in a small part of America, home, just like Makale is small.

She was excited on the trip to Mpls.  We could see the land the whole time, which was fascinating for her.  Unfortunately, she had severe ear pain after landing in DC, again in MPLS which almost ruined her reunion but she rallied.  She saw Harvey before I did and ran to him.  She was so thankful to see Grant because they had really bonded.  He was the first familiar thing she had seen since leaving Addis.

We had a quick dinner in a low key restaurant, not unlike some we had been to in Addis.  She became very teary and couldn’t eat.  I was an exchange student and realized that the tears were probably:  exhaustion, finally relaxed because we were through immigration and customs, realizing she wouldn’t see friends for years, thinking she knew English and not understanding a word the group was saying, and being totally overwhelmed.

We made a wise decision for her and got her into the car with pillows, blanket and left for home.  She didn’t go into my sister;s home; Grant loaded the car; we snuggled her in and she fell asleep about an hour later.  When we got home at midnight, she was all smiles and happy.  From the photo albums, things were familiar.  Her room was perfect!

The  Ethiopian people are happy, loving, thankful for anything and are very respectful and loving to all children.  Be very very careful about the tone of your voice and your actions with the kids.  Don’t discipline in public, hold them close, kiss them and love them openly.  The adults will smile on you and bless you at every opportunity.

We are going to Africa!

Selam March 6, 2009

June 18, 2009

As we wait and wait for word that we can travel to Ethiopia to pick up our daughter, I have had lots of time to reflect on the meaning of this new experience.  We live in North Dakota in a predominantly Scandinavian American world.  My parents joke that they married out of self defense since they were the only non-Norwegian families where they grew up.  I am Scotch-Irish; my husband is Norwegian-Irish; Our sons are Irish-Scotch-Norwegian our grandsons are Irish-Irish-Scotch-Norwegian;  our daughter is Ethiopian. As I think about the miracle of adoption and the suspense and joy of having a new child join our family, my emotions know no end.

Her name is Selam and means PEACE and HELLO. Ethiopian children are given a name that has meaning to their parents and/or their circumstances of birth.  Her parents both fought in the Ethiopian Eritrean Border War.  Thus, their daughter was named SELAM.

The collage of words reflect some of the awe I have felt at the privilege of having this experience.  The prayers from family members and friends have gotten me through some pretty tough days.  Because Selam is 15 years old, there is an urgency to her adoption.  She was referred to us one year ago when she was still 14 years old.  In September, 2009, she will turn 16.  The US does not allow adoptions of children 16 and older!  We would probably still get her but are praying that we travel in July to avoid the conflicts that could arise due to her age.

WE ARE GOING TO AFRICA!  Unbelievable – I never thought I would go to Africa.  I don’t do heat well and don’t like humidity and we are going during Ethiopia’s rainy season.  I hate the smell of diesel trucks and the dust.  BUT I love having a daughter in the family.  I love the adventure of travel and the hope that we will be able to make a difference not only in her life, but in her friends’ lives.  I love that our son, Grant, will be traveling with us to see and experience his sister’s culture.  It is important that he recognize how most of the world lives – in poverty yet smiling.  I love that he will be with us for two weeks and not distracted by work, friends and the outdoors, i.e. hunting and fishing.  I love that I am GOING TO AFRICA!